25 and Alive

(Sabo Skirt Shorts, Sabo Skirt Top, Marc Fischer Rabecca Lace-Up Platform Wedge, Quay x Desi Sahara Aviators)
Wow guys...it's been exactly a year since I've posted. So much has changed in my life, it's surreal. Where should I even start?! Last year, I mentioned my accomplishments and becoming a registered nurse blah blah blah. This past year was even more eventful. Not to mention the rollercoaster of emotions I experienced. I feel like this past year went by extremely slow compared to other years.

So as you all read last year, I started my nursing career in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) as a full-time staff RN and I'm still there...surviving...barely (lol!). It's pretty gutsy to start off as a brand spankin' new nurse in critical care because it's such a fast-paced, high stress, test-your-critical-thinking, "oh shit! oh my God!" type of environment. I don't regret starting off my career in critical care one bit. I've seen and learned so much this year alone and I'm still learning and I will always be learning new things in this field. Often times, I wanted to quit and just settle for something easier. I even questioned if I still wanted to be a nurse. Around the third month of being on my own in the ICU (off training without a preceptor, just me myself and I), I started to second guess myself and I went into a mild depression. I found myself not wanting to go to work, I would call off for no reason, I would cry before every shift because I had high anxiety. Everyday I cried out of nowhere and I felt so alone. I talked to my parents about it, I talked to Kap about it, and I even talked to my brother about it. I thought talking about how I felt would help...but nothing helped. I prayed to God, I listened to christian music to help me get through it. I tried to keep myself busy by working out and running everyday, but no matter what I did, I ended up feeling anxious. I had anxiety attacks before every shift, but my co-workers would've never known because whenever I got to work, I was completely fine. It was a weird time for me and I was so emotional, but during all that, I learned new things everyday at work. I remember talking to one of my co-workers, Krissie, about being a New Grad RN and I will never forget what she told me. She said, "Yeah, it's scary at first and you feel so unsure about everything, but something magical happens at 6 months...you start to feel comfortable and like, you know what you're doing now." That really stuck with me because you know what? I don't remember how I got out of my depression, it just magically happened right around the 6 month mark of being on my own. I stopped feeling depressed and I started to feel more comfortable at work. So Krissie, if you're reading this...thanks girl! Looking back, I can't believe I went through depression. I learned all about it during nursing school, but I never thought it could happen to me, but it did. So to all you new nurses out there, there's hope! Wait for that "magical" 6 month mark, you'll know what I'm talking about when you get there. Just hang in there!

Anyway, if you've followed me on Twitter for the last seven years, you would know that I used to drive a hoopty (my baby silver Honda Civic ek). Well...I gave it back to my dad because I purchased myself a 2017 Honda Accord (UPGRADE!) and her name is "Damn Gina!" (lol!!) And I used to live at the beach with my step dad, but now...ya girl moved in with Kap and we have our very own apartment now. See, so much has happened this past year and life is only gonna get better. I've grown so so much this year alone. Let's see what the future holds for me. I'm twenty-five and alive and I'm blessed with the best! Stay curious for more posts...I'm a little rusty on blog shoots, but I will definitely try to blog more this year I promise! Follow me on Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat to keep up with me on a daily basis...it's @CURIOUSERLIA across all platforms.